When is a hoarder ready for prime-time? (Part 2)

Well, here's what happened. As I previously wrote, I have a hoarding client that can't afford to pay for my services. She was convinced that the only way she could have her hoard cleaned up was to get on one of the hoarding reality T.V. shows. She desperately wanted to take this route.

I was able to assess her living condition and advised her strongly against choosing the reality T.V. route. This lovely gal has many mental health conditions that would be exacerbated by making such a choice. She already suffers from an anxiety disorder, by being on T.V. she might end up in a psychotic state.

I spoke to my client's therapist today before having a conversation with my client. I shared my concerns for our client if she were chosen for a reality show. The therapist was able to speak at length to our client and then I connected with the client today too.

We had a really nice conversation about the realities of reality T.V. She didn't think of the fact that the show would broadcast all over the world. It would be searchable by millions and be out there forever. Her fear and shame for the condition of her home would be exposed to the universe. How would the T.V. show benefit her. I had her write a list of the benefits and drawbacks, and as she did this I asked her to say them to me over the phone. The benefits list was really small and the drawback list was really long. After this exercise, she said that she no longer thought that it was a good idea to take part in a reality show. Instead, she was going to ask her family if they could financially help her out, so she could pay for my services. She felt good about that decision.

Reality T.V. might work for some, but not for those that have complex mental health issues. Such mental health issues could dangerously escalate under such conditions. I'm about minimizing my clients' anxieties, stress and trauma. If you are interested in finding out more about hoarding, please check out the International Obsessive Compulsive Foundation: http://www.ocfoundation.org. Please send me any comments you might have about this issue. Thanks!

When is a hoarder ready for prime-time?

I recently received a call from a woman looking for a professional organizing to help her best friend who is a hoarder. The hoarder has lived in her home for 10 years. The caller wanted to hire me to work with her best friend, if the best friend would agree. The caller also wanted an idea of how much it would cost to de-clutter her friends home, once I conducted an assessment. She explained that her hasn't been in this home for many years, but a mutual friend had and was allowed to take pictures, which were then sent to her. Based on these pictures, she was able to give me a good idea of the condition of her best friend's home. She felt an urgency to reach out to me, once she saw the condition of the home, and also shared that the mental health of her best friend is deteriorating from her feelings of hopelessness and depression. The hoarder feels that she's mentally and physically drowning in her garbage and anxiety.

The hoarder has had two other people help her with the de-cluttering process, but both interventions have not produced successful results.

The hoarder has been extremely frustrated with her lack of progress, as well as her lack of financial resources. She is on disability and could never afford a professional organizer on her own. Her benefactor was also not fiscally able to afford my services after an initial visit, but our plan was for her to contact everyone that is close to the hoarder, and ask if they would chip in for a certain number of hours to help us get a good start at de-cluttering and clearing the hoard.

In the meantime, the hoarder is working with a therapist colleague of mine, which is really great news. I won't work with a hoarder that is not working with a psychiatrist and/or therapist for their hoarding behavior. Anyway, the sad news is that the hoarder is sinking deeper into depression and the best friend has not contacted me again. But maybe she's working on getting financial backers to help with the project (that's my dream scenario for this hoarding client).

While I was working with the hoarder during my initial visit, she mentioned that she would like to be on one of the television shows about hoarders, so that she could have a crew come and clear her house, since she can't afford the help herself. I'm always being contacted by television shows looking to cast hoarders, and I don't have hoarding clients that are mentally healthy enough to be on T.V., for all the world to see their life and have cast and crew touching their possessions, etc. They also don't like the idea that the world would see the condition of their home. Their shame is too great and their mental state of mind too fragile. There are plenty of people that do want the cameras into their lives and I respect them greatly for that.

I've heard all kinds of stories from my colleagues that have participated in these shows, and they have had many mixed experiences.

Often, we've come to know that hoarders return to their disorganized, acquiring without discarding ways if left to fend for themselves. Aftercare is necessary. They have to feel confident and comfortable with new clutter management techniques. And this is something that is a learned behavior over time, with the help of a collaborative team of many including but not limited to a therapist, psychiatrist, family and/or friends, professional organizer, social worker, local agency (if applicable), etc. Not just a hoarder trying to figure it out on their own after the cameras and crew are gone. The ironic thing is that after I spoke to the hoarders' therapist a few days ago, the producer of TLC's "Buried Alive" contacted me looking for a hoarder to cast. I don't think this hoarder's mental health issues are up to having a T.V. crew in her home, but you never know. I will let her therapist know about this opportunity, since she is very keen on having an intervention of this sort. Tune in for further details on this situation. Your comments are welcome.

Soles 4 Souls

I want to share information on this fabulous organization called "Soles 4 Souls." From their website, their mission is:

Soles4Souls collects new shoes to give relief to the victims of abject suffering and collects used shoes to support micro-business efforts to eradicate poverty. Soles4Souls’ other two divisions, Clothes4Souls and Hope4Souls, which provides the same relief and support through clothing and other necessities.

Their History: Soles4Souls has a simple concept: we procure shoes and get them to those in need.

In the aftermath of the 2004 tsunami that hit Southeast Asia, Wayne Elsey, the Founder and CEO of Soles4Souls® Inc., felt compelled to do something. Like many of us, he did not know what to do. He was at home one night, watching TV and he saw a picture of a single shoe washing up on the beach. That triggered a few calls to some other executives in the footwear industry and the subsequent donation of a quarter of a million shoes to victims in the devastated countries.

A year later when Katrina hit, Wayne called the same group of friends, and they sent over a million pairs of shoes down to the gulf coast communities affected by the hurricane. In all honesty, he admits that he did not expect such an immediate and successful turnout. This left him wondering, why not start a non-profit and do this all the time? One year later, Soles4Souls was formally created.

It has been that simple: changing the world one pair at a time.

Soles4Souls receives large donations from footwear companies, retailers, churches, nonprofit ministries, civic groups, schools, and individuals and saw that this could become a full time organization. That's why Soles4Souls was created – to facilitate the donations from these groups to the people who desperately need footwear.

So, as your cleaning out your closet or your family's closet, think about who could benefit from your discarded footwear. You can also start your own shoe drive. Find out how on the Soles4Souls website: http://www.soles4souls.org