Loving Ourselves

I have just a few thoughts this evening to share about loving ourselves. We get so busy with our work whether that is organizing, coaching, or whatever we do for a living that we forget what is most important to our lives and our businesses. That most important thing is LOVE. Loving ourselves, our work and those that we serve. So, I want to share some life and business reminders for all of us:

• Don't let anyone feel alone.

• When you are feeling negative - distract yourself!

•Listen to what is NOT being said.

• Recognize your value.

• Recognize the value of others.

• You learn the most from those you least expect to learn from.

•Give your clients what they want - not what they need.

• Tap into your inner child.

•Nothing works when it is out of integrity.

•Remember to love yourself each and every minute of the day.

•Spread that love around.

• Be sure to tell those most important to you how much they mean to you as often as possible.

Benefits of Our Morning Routine

Creating and establishing routines affect people's lives in positive ways. Routines help improve efficiency on one's life and aids in our daily functioning. They help us to know what to do and what to expect. Life is not just one big surprise after another. With a predictable schedule, we offer our kids structure that helps them feel safe and secure.

By building routines we are saying to our family "this is how we do things around here." Routines help to make our daily activities more controlled. This also allows us the time to focus on one task at a time, making activities more manageable.

The family experiences a decrease in stress when everyone knows what is expected of them. Let's take getting up each morning. The way to create an organized process for this is to write out a list of the step-by-step things that one must do to get ready for school or work. Your child can follow this list to understand what has to be done and in what order. Getting up to an alarm the same time each morning, which means going to bed the same time each night is a critical part of this healthy routine.

Post a "wash up" list on the bathroom mirror next to where they get ready. Some of the items on the list will be: Take shower, dry, comb and style hair, get dressed. Have clothes picked out the night before, to make dressing in the morning easier.

Have a set time for eating breakfast and offer healthy choices that you know your kids really like. After breakfast, brush teeth, get backpack that is by the door (with all necessary paperwork already placed inside the day before). To have a place by the door where packed backpacks are stored and coats and other necessary out-the-door items are kept, so that everyone can take what they need from this area and easily leave the house without forgetting important items.

What are some of the routines you've created for yourself and your family?

First Steps To Create Routines For Your Kids

Routines are important for us to have and to create for our kids. If kids have no structure and no routines that they can count on, then chaos will rein supreme in their lives and their homes. When kids with ADHD have no routines, then chaos will surely rein supreme at home and everywhere else.

Kids and adults need structure. They need something they can count on to provide stability in their lives. To create structure in your home, you first need to have the belief that you can commit to creating, supporting and sustaining routines for yourself and your family.

Let's first talk about a morning routine for getting out the door. The first step is to implement a daily family meeting. At this meeting family members discuss what steps need to be taken to gather all necessary items and get out the door each morning. Different tasks are discussed and each family member becomes responsible for their individual tasks. A family calendar/schedule will be created and implemented. Tasks will be written onto the calendar/schedule for each day, along with the name of the person responsible for carrying out the task.

These tasks can be written out step-by-step and the family calendar/schedule will be clearly visible in a central location, like a prominent kitchen wall. If kids are very young, you can add illustrations or photos of the tasks they are responsible for.

Tasks and their steps can be written on brightly colored Post-it® notes and placed on bathroom mirrors, next to light switches, on the inside of the front door, or anywhere you or your child can visibly see the note as a reminder before leaving the house. These notes will serve as visual cues as well as road maps to assist all of you in creating new habits.

Many well-intentioned parents start to establish the structure their kids need. Many may quit after a few weeks or even a few days because the routines are not working. They complain that their child just won't listen. He doesn't want to go along with the new routine. Each day may becomes a struggle. Everyone gets tired of fighting and the parents want to give up.

Usually, routines don't work because parents give up too soon. To make structure really work, routines need to be seen and implemented not just as simple behavioral strategies, but as a way of life.

What have your experiences been when trying to create routines and structure in your life?

Neat Desk

The folks at Neat who brought you Neat Receipts now has Neat Desk. Obviously this one is a little bigger than Neat Receipts, but it can scan up to 10 business cards, 10 receipts and 10 sheets of paper at one time, or even a single, 50-page document. NeatDesk is a high-speed, duplex desktop scanner and digital filing system. The software (NeatWorks 4.0) creates a digital filing cabinet for you and transforms the information into PDF files. The data can be exported to Excel, Outlook, Quicken, QuickBooks, and TurboTax. For us Mac users there is a Mac version of this product. 

http://neatco.com

Time Management-Living at Warp Speed

Time management guru Harold Taylor says even though technology has sped up our lives, the basic tenets of time management have not changed. Any time savers we had with technology were offset by “increases in complexity, choices, interruptions, expectations, stress, delays and errors,” he said. “Our bodies are not designed to live at warp speed and we’ve created this hazardous lifestyle.”

Taylor said we also have “mental multi-tasking,” where we are doing one thing and thinking of another. Other hazards of speedy lifestyles include:

Work/Life Balance. The blur between the division of work and life

Lost productivity. As the saying goes, haste does make waste. The average office worker loses 2.1 hours a day from interruptions. Taylor points out that this is 25% of the typical workday.

Stress. Surprise! It’s on the increase. Are you really surprised? Toss in ADD, info mania, clutter, and the never-ending to-do list, and you really have a stress party.

Lack of sleep. Sleep deprivation causes more accidents than drunk driving, Taylor said. The average night’s sleep is 6.9 hours a night, and Americans usually get 90 minutes less sleep a night than we did a century ago.

Obesity. One-third of Americans are clinically obese, and it’s caused by a lack of sleep and exercise and fast food.

Family Relationships. Wireless items, such as the trusty Blackberry, intrude on family time and can affect relationships.

Lack of Creativity. We have lost creativity because we don’t have time for it. As Taylor says, you can’t outsource creativity.

E-mail and PDA’s have increased the speed of our lives, and e-mail is a constant stream of interruptions into our daily projects, Taylor said. In fact, 4 percent of people admit to reading e-mails while in the bathroom. I’m certain a much higher number of people admit to talking on their cell phones while in the bathroom – a major pet peeve of mine. As you can see, we feel we have to be connected to the world at all times, but people should be able to go to the bathroom without the use of wireless devices.

People have a difficult time letting go of work while at home, and the statistics show that. Fifty-one percent of people keep in contact with the office while on vacation, and 15 percent describe themselves as being e-mail addicted. “Work is no longer a place you go to,” Taylor said. “It’s a state of mind. The blackberry is the cost of someone’s soul to be available at all hours for work.” Since office layouts, cubicle farms, and electronic communications make people too accessible, quiet hours are quickly becoming a thing of the past.

Taylor offered some suggestions to help slow down our speedy lives:

Have meaningful goals. If you have no goals, then you have no priorities. Use SMART Goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, and Relevant and have a Time frame.

Planning. It’s important. The average American spends 40 minutes playing with their kids and four hours on shopping, according to Taylor. Schedule more time than you need for a task to account for the interruptions.

Prioritizing. Using the Stephen Covey quadrant helps you decide what’s important and urgent.

Life Balance. Blend work and personal life in a way that satisfies you and your family, Taylor said.

Slow Internal Time. “Time flies when you’re not having fun either,” he said. “Wherever you are, be there.” He also suggests adding variety to your life by going to different places and trying new things.

Don’t multi-task. Studies show that productivity actually decreases by 20 to 40 percent each time you “task switch.” Focusing on one task at a time is better.

Exercise Your Body and Mind. Regular exercisers reduce their risk for Alzheimer’s. “We are outliving our minds,” Taylor said. 

Snooze More. Get plenty of sleep. Turn off the TV, slow things down earlier, trim the nightly to-do list, and get some sleep.

 

For more information on Harold Taylor’s time management strategies, visit: http://www.taylorintime.com.

Snapping Out of Hyperfocus

This article was written by my colleague Dr. Bobbie Tsukahara, ADD Austin:

The difficulties with concentration and focusing for people with ADD are well known, but the flip side – “hyper-focus” can be just as problematic. Our ability to focus our attention and shift it as required is dependent on the complex orchestration of many processes in the brain.

In the person with ADD, there is a breakdown in this orchestration that leads to dysregulation of the “attention centers” of the brain. This dysregulation is sometimes viewed as a matter of the will, but in fact the ADD brain often needs heightened stimulation (e.g., a high degree of interest or the immediate feedback of a computer game) in order to become engaged. Once engaged, the ADDer may find that breaking out of a highly stimulating activity is also very challenging.

If you find this is the case for you, here are some tips to help you break out:

Identify the specific activities that are frequently problematic for you. What are the “black holes” that pull you in?

Before engaging in the activity, decide how much time you can afford to spend. Be very specific. (E.g., “I can only play this computer game for 30 minutes.”)

Set a timer or alarm that requires you to get up to turn it off. Many newer stoves have such a timer. It should be loud enough and intrusive enough that you cannot ignore it. If you do not own such a timer or alarm, purchase one. It is money very well spent. While you can use your computer’s timer with computer-based activities, these are often too easily dismissed or ignored. You have to know yourself well enough to decide if that will work for you. Here are some links to products that might help you:

The Puzzle Alarm Clock -www.bimbambanana.com/index.php?p=Puzzle-alarm-clock-cool-gadgets&side=visProd&prod_id=21 

Clocky – designed by an MIT student who could not wake up www.nandahome.com

Time IT by Technika – for the computer guru http://www.sperdirect.com/cgi-bin/category.cgi?item=810050

If your activity is computer-based, set your computer to shut down at a specific time, with a pre-set warning. How to do this will depend on the operating system you use. This tip also works well for those of you who stay up too late doing computer-based work or play. For Windows XP go to:www.winxptutor.com/schsd.htm.

Ask a friend who is sensitive to your ADD to call you at a specific time. Use this wisely because it can lead to resentments. As a general rule, I strongly recommend that you do not ask a parent or spouse to play this role. It has the potential to put too much strain on the relationship.

If you have found other tricks that work for you, please send them to me at: mailto:rlyman@ahelpinghandforyou.com. I’m always for new strategies to share with my clients.

 

Multitasking: Myth or Magic?

By Kay Grossman, MA, ACG, ADDCA Graduate. 

Multitasking has become our modus operendi. Busy professionals, parents, adolescents, and even President Obama talk about the necessity of multitasking. The demands of modern life seem to require it, and technology certainly enables it. At home, we talk on the phone while preparing dinner and helping our kids with their homework. At work, we check our Blackberrys and answer e-mail while listening in on conference calls. We do more than one task at a time in order to get everything done.

 So multitasking must be good for us, right? The answer is maybe--maybe not, depending on how and when we use it. Used properly, it offers novelty and efficiency. Used without forethought, it can be a drag on productivity, creativity and learning.

 Scientific research shows that true multitasking is a myth. In the strictest neurological sense, the brain can pay attention to only one activity at a time. When we multitask, we shift our attention back and forth rapidly among several tasks, giving none our fullest, deepest attention. 

 Sometimes this works to our advantage. When we engage in familiar, routine tasks that do not require complex thought, it is often easier to persist if we stimulate our brains using another sensory modality. Listening to music while paying bills, or chatting with a friend on the phone while folding laundry, may facilitate our ability to get the job done.

 Often, however, something important gets lost in the process of multitasking. When we do activities that require more complex thinking, such as answering our child's questions, writing an email, or talking to our boss on the phone, we are far more efficient if we attend to a single task at a time. One reason is that our brains require time to store information. We risk losing that information as we shift our attention. For example, if we attempt to finish writing an e-mail while talking to our boss, our brain may not have time to register a key piece of the conversation. We may later make a poor decision because we missed some critical information.

 A growing body of research indicates that multitasking takes more time than doing one task at a time. One of the stages the brain must go through in order to shift attention is to turn off the rules for the first task and turn on the rules for the second. This takes a significant amount of brain-time. Each time we are interrupted, or interrupt ourselves, it takes time to re-orient when we return to a task. Some studies report that it may take up to fifteen minutes to restart a project after an interruption.

 Many adults with ADHD are drawn to multitasking and cannot imagine any other way of life. With a greater understanding of how their brain works and increased awareness of where they are focusing their attention, my clients find they work more efficiently and productively. 

 Here are some techniques that may be helpful.

     • Purposely multitask in order to complete tedious, familiar tasks.  Choose activities that engage two different, non-competing brain processes. Listening to music or a book on tape while emptying the dishwasher or clearing junk e-mail are good examples of using non-competing brain modalities.

 • Note benefits and challenges associated with multitasking. Is it actually timesaving, or do you make mistakes that require time to fix? Do you remember better when you stick with one task?  Identify the tasks that lend themselves to efficient multitasking and those that do not.

 • Design your environment to eliminate distractions and promote your ability to stick to one task. When you want to tackle a complex assignment, turn off your e-mail, phone, and Blackberry and put up a sign saying you are unavailable until a designated time. Set a timer to alert you when the time is up. At that point, you can choose to check for messages or to continue with the task.

 • Practice pausing to consider priorities when you are interrupted.  Ask yourself, "What's most important right now? Does this fit with my priorities for today?" Keep a list of 3 to 5 daily priorities in your line of sight for handy reference at home and work.

 • Practice techniques for managing around thought interruptions. It is especially common with ADHD for random thoughts to come your way. Each time you realize your mind has wandered, make a tick mark on a sticky note. With practice, you will become quickly aware of your off-task thinking and gain the ability to return to the task at hand. Also, pause to consider your priorities when you interrupt yourself. Create a mantra or ask yourself questions that will help you get back on track.

 • Build downtime into your daily schedule. All of us need uninterrupted time to let our minds wander. This is when creativity has the time and space to take root!

 So, is multitasking myth or magic? The answer is neither and both.  With awareness of both its inherent challenges and productive uses, you can manage your time and attention to get things done and enjoy yourself along the way.