The Psychology of Hoarding

This morning I'm sharing information about an informative graphic that explains "The Psychology of Hoarding." This information includes the characteristics of hoarders, stats such as 75% of hoarders engage in excessive buying. As a professional organizer with many years of having the privilege of working with hoarders and their families, I've seen the challenges created by the financial and psychological ramifications of excessive shopping and acquiring. There is also the excessive acquiring of free items that this information notes as happening 50% of the time. We also explore the causes of hoarding and the anatomy of a hoarding house.

A very telling statistic states that by age 6, nearly 70% of children collect or store things. It's when the collecting turns to hoarding that the psychological issues of that persons life have changed, whether it's from a situational issue, genetic predisposition and/or a learned behavior. Collecting and hoarding are two very different reactions and behaviors in a persons' life. A collection can be collected over time, proudly cared for and can be on display. This is not the case when someone is hoarding items. There is a collection of seemingly useless items of limited or no value.

There is also statistical data on animal hoarding, where the person/s might not even be aware that they are harming the animals they hoard.

Some of the common personality traits of a hoarder are: neuroticism, anxiety, depression, self-consciousness, indecisiveness, perfectionism, vulnerability and impulsiveness. The treatments suggested are cognitive behavioral therapy with a 70% responsiveness, anti-depressants with mixed results and exposure and response prevention (ERP) with poor results.

At the end of this graphic, there are resources included. One of my favorite resource sites for hoarding and OCD information is the OCD Foundation.

Please check out this link for full information: http://images.psychologydegree.net.s3.amazonaws.com/hoarding.jpg

(This information was provided by http://www.pscyhologydegree.net/"> Psychology Degree)

When is a hoarder ready for prime-time? (Part 2)

Well, here's what happened. As I previously wrote, I have a hoarding client that can't afford to pay for my services. She was convinced that the only way she could have her hoard cleaned up was to get on one of the hoarding reality T.V. shows. She desperately wanted to take this route.

I was able to assess her living condition and advised her strongly against choosing the reality T.V. route. This lovely gal has many mental health conditions that would be exacerbated by making such a choice. She already suffers from an anxiety disorder, by being on T.V. she might end up in a psychotic state.

I spoke to my client's therapist today before having a conversation with my client. I shared my concerns for our client if she were chosen for a reality show. The therapist was able to speak at length to our client and then I connected with the client today too.

We had a really nice conversation about the realities of reality T.V. She didn't think of the fact that the show would broadcast all over the world. It would be searchable by millions and be out there forever. Her fear and shame for the condition of her home would be exposed to the universe. How would the T.V. show benefit her. I had her write a list of the benefits and drawbacks, and as she did this I asked her to say them to me over the phone. The benefits list was really small and the drawback list was really long. After this exercise, she said that she no longer thought that it was a good idea to take part in a reality show. Instead, she was going to ask her family if they could financially help her out, so she could pay for my services. She felt good about that decision.

Reality T.V. might work for some, but not for those that have complex mental health issues. Such mental health issues could dangerously escalate under such conditions. I'm about minimizing my clients' anxieties, stress and trauma. If you are interested in finding out more about hoarding, please check out the International Obsessive Compulsive Foundation: http://www.ocfoundation.org. Please send me any comments you might have about this issue. Thanks!

When is a hoarder ready for prime-time?

I recently received a call from a woman looking for a professional organizing to help her best friend who is a hoarder. The hoarder has lived in her home for 10 years. The caller wanted to hire me to work with her best friend, if the best friend would agree. The caller also wanted an idea of how much it would cost to de-clutter her friends home, once I conducted an assessment. She explained that her hasn't been in this home for many years, but a mutual friend had and was allowed to take pictures, which were then sent to her. Based on these pictures, she was able to give me a good idea of the condition of her best friend's home. She felt an urgency to reach out to me, once she saw the condition of the home, and also shared that the mental health of her best friend is deteriorating from her feelings of hopelessness and depression. The hoarder feels that she's mentally and physically drowning in her garbage and anxiety.

The hoarder has had two other people help her with the de-cluttering process, but both interventions have not produced successful results.

The hoarder has been extremely frustrated with her lack of progress, as well as her lack of financial resources. She is on disability and could never afford a professional organizer on her own. Her benefactor was also not fiscally able to afford my services after an initial visit, but our plan was for her to contact everyone that is close to the hoarder, and ask if they would chip in for a certain number of hours to help us get a good start at de-cluttering and clearing the hoard.

In the meantime, the hoarder is working with a therapist colleague of mine, which is really great news. I won't work with a hoarder that is not working with a psychiatrist and/or therapist for their hoarding behavior. Anyway, the sad news is that the hoarder is sinking deeper into depression and the best friend has not contacted me again. But maybe she's working on getting financial backers to help with the project (that's my dream scenario for this hoarding client).

While I was working with the hoarder during my initial visit, she mentioned that she would like to be on one of the television shows about hoarders, so that she could have a crew come and clear her house, since she can't afford the help herself. I'm always being contacted by television shows looking to cast hoarders, and I don't have hoarding clients that are mentally healthy enough to be on T.V., for all the world to see their life and have cast and crew touching their possessions, etc. They also don't like the idea that the world would see the condition of their home. Their shame is too great and their mental state of mind too fragile. There are plenty of people that do want the cameras into their lives and I respect them greatly for that.

I've heard all kinds of stories from my colleagues that have participated in these shows, and they have had many mixed experiences.

Often, we've come to know that hoarders return to their disorganized, acquiring without discarding ways if left to fend for themselves. Aftercare is necessary. They have to feel confident and comfortable with new clutter management techniques. And this is something that is a learned behavior over time, with the help of a collaborative team of many including but not limited to a therapist, psychiatrist, family and/or friends, professional organizer, social worker, local agency (if applicable), etc. Not just a hoarder trying to figure it out on their own after the cameras and crew are gone. The ironic thing is that after I spoke to the hoarders' therapist a few days ago, the producer of TLC's "Buried Alive" contacted me looking for a hoarder to cast. I don't think this hoarder's mental health issues are up to having a T.V. crew in her home, but you never know. I will let her therapist know about this opportunity, since she is very keen on having an intervention of this sort. Tune in for further details on this situation. Your comments are welcome.

Soles 4 Souls

I want to share information on this fabulous organization called "Soles 4 Souls." From their website, their mission is:

Soles4Souls collects new shoes to give relief to the victims of abject suffering and collects used shoes to support micro-business efforts to eradicate poverty. Soles4Souls’ other two divisions, Clothes4Souls and Hope4Souls, which provides the same relief and support through clothing and other necessities.

Their History: Soles4Souls has a simple concept: we procure shoes and get them to those in need.

In the aftermath of the 2004 tsunami that hit Southeast Asia, Wayne Elsey, the Founder and CEO of Soles4Souls® Inc., felt compelled to do something. Like many of us, he did not know what to do. He was at home one night, watching TV and he saw a picture of a single shoe washing up on the beach. That triggered a few calls to some other executives in the footwear industry and the subsequent donation of a quarter of a million shoes to victims in the devastated countries.

A year later when Katrina hit, Wayne called the same group of friends, and they sent over a million pairs of shoes down to the gulf coast communities affected by the hurricane. In all honesty, he admits that he did not expect such an immediate and successful turnout. This left him wondering, why not start a non-profit and do this all the time? One year later, Soles4Souls was formally created.

It has been that simple: changing the world one pair at a time.

Soles4Souls receives large donations from footwear companies, retailers, churches, nonprofit ministries, civic groups, schools, and individuals and saw that this could become a full time organization. That's why Soles4Souls was created – to facilitate the donations from these groups to the people who desperately need footwear.

So, as your cleaning out your closet or your family's closet, think about who could benefit from your discarded footwear. You can also start your own shoe drive. Find out how on the Soles4Souls website: http://www.soles4souls.org

Stop Fixing People

I'm adding this link to a very interesting & informative article from Psychology Today. It's called "Stop Fixing People," What to do when your brilliant ideas aren't helping.

This link was shared by my brilliant colleague Deb Stanley. It is well worth your time to read. Please let me what you think of this article & if it's helped you or not.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201103/stop-fixing-people

Pain Management & Managing Expectations

O.K. As I have said in the past, I haven't kept up with blogging, but my intention is to be more diligent about writing concise, important blogs that either inspire, share important info to help all that read this blog & for me to gain a sense of accomplishment, which I don't feel currently. The feeling of accomplishment will happen when I put in the time & research needed to create a successful blog, which is my intention.

The point I want to make here about pain management is as follows. In the past month, I've had back surgery two times. The first time was to fix a herniated disk at L5, S1 on March 1st. This disk herniated due to a car accident that I was in at the beginning of November.

We had rain that morning, so the roads were wet. I was driving home from my afternoon client & a car hydroplaned in front of me & I had to hit him head on. What saved my life was my seat belt, the airbag & the guardrail that stopped my car from falling into the canyon, since I was driving on a canyon road. I hit the other car two times & then slammed into the eastbound guardrail. The driver's side window imploded onto me with a million pieces of glass hitting any part of my left side that wasn't covered by clothing. The car was totaled, especially the left side of my car which was smashed in & my left foot, ankle & leg were crushed. The EMT had to cut me out of the car. I had experienced internal damage due to the seat belt & the force of hitting the airbag at a very high speed. And I was incredibly fortunate to not have way more severe injuries. I sustained soft tissue damage to my foot, ankle & leg. I knew that my back was injured, but it wasn't till the beginning of January that my back herniated. The neuro surgeon explained that this wasn't uncommon for a car accident victim; the delay of injury & the inevitable health issues that followed.

The neuro surgeon performed a diskecomy on the 1st of March, which was a Tuesday. By Thursday, my head was hurting so bad that I couldn't stand up for longer than 15 minutes at a time. I called the doctor & they wanted me to go back to the hospital last Friday. They performed a blood patch to stop the flow of spinal fluids from leaking out. What they didn't know at the time, even with an MRI & CT scan was that there was a tear in my spinal columns covering. This wasn't discovered until this past Friday. So they had to repair the tear & sew me up again. Consequently, I had to stay in the hospital again for the weekend. The nurses & techs were surprised to see me again & gave me the excellent care that I received at St. David's hospital in downtown Austin last weekend.

So where does the pain management & expectations come into play? After having another surgery & being setback another week made me feel like that time was taken from me & my clients. I'm so committed to my clients that there are times that I have to remind myself that I come first, then George my husband, Louie (our new puppy) & family & friends come after that. But also there are times that I've put my clients before myself & that is never a smart thing to do, no matter how committed I am. With that kind of thinking, I would have to question my reasons for putting others before myself. I'm not a martyr, foolish with my emotions & I have a strong sense of appropriate boundaries, so I had to re-evaluate my actions & nothing puts more clarity & understanding in the forefront like excruciating pain & the possibility of continued pain if I didn't put myself first, especially in this situation.

What I also realize is to be realistic with my expectations of how long it might take to heal & the critical choices I have to make to protect my back & not re-injuring myself. This lesson of letting go & letting others care for me is a very important lesson. I've learned over time that myself & some of my professional organizing colleagues & friends have a difficult time asking for help or letting others help. We have to unlearn certain things like accepting help graciously from others. Also, managing expectations is critical to a healthful, happy existence. It's something I share all the time with my clients & realize how important this advice is for me too. Please share your views. They're greatly appreciated.

Don't lose your cool on Valentine's Day weekend!

O.K. I haven't become a restaurant critic, lord help me I'd weigh a million pounds if I was lucky enough to have that job! But, one thing I can say about living in Austin is that we have awesome restaurants in and around the city and they keep on growing. Especially in the area that I live in. Lots of new construction, wide open spaces (that are shrinking) and plenty of new joints opening up all over. But, buyer beware! The restaurant boom is great for us consumers, but not so great for the existing restaurant owners. They are having to come up with either better food, better prices, some kind of gimmick or unfortunately, they're closing up shop.

O.K. what does this have to do with the Valentine's Day weekend? Well everything. You want a great place to eat for the V-Day weekend, if you're going out.

What it you've made no plans for Valentine's Day? Well it's not too late. Call up a friend or friends, pick up the phone and make a reservation (NOW). I almost totally messed up on our party of four by thinking we could eat anywhere tonight. But alas, I lucked out and made reservations at a really great place that's been around for the past year or so. That might seem like a short amount of time for a restaurant, but not in this growing area. As already stated above "look out mediocre restaurants, there are many new sheriffs in town who want your job."

You could say that about some professional organizers, but that's for another blog day. This conversation is about having a good time on Valentine's Day whether you have a date or not.

So, make that call, get out some nice clothes and have a blast. Those of you with no date tonight, don't be discouraged, go out on your own. Be sure to bring some mace (you never know what maniac is out this weekend). My safety suggestion is that you go to a local place where you know or feel comfortable with the crowd and have a drink and a bite to eat. If any creeps give you a hard time gals, remember the mace;)

Happy pre-Valentine's Day!