My Challenges

I've blogged about a lot of professional organizing issues. I'm going to make a change here and talk a bit about my current challenges to hopefully spark a conversation.

This past March and April I had to have four back surgeries, due to complications over an initial surgery for a herniated disk from a car accident. The driver hit me head-on and my car was totaled and I was so lucky to only have minor injuries, instead of ending up flying down the canyon and ending in a fiery blaze.

As a professional organizer, my work is very physical. There was no way in heck I was going to throw in the towel and not be physical anymore. My back surgeries didn't stop me from being physical, and now I have to be so careful to strengthen my back in the healthiest way.

When I first came back home after spending almost a month in ICU, I could hardly walk. I never felt so weak. I had to start by getting my strength back. I started walking and went back to the gym (Anytime Fitness) where I had Carl (owner/trainer) revise my weekly workout to accommodate my new challenges with my lower back. He modified my workout, and I started out slow.

Unfortunately, I also gained some weight from not being able to workout for the past 3+ months. My work was cut-out for me. I had to change the way I eat. Portion control is a huge issue that I deal with. I have to specifically cut down on the amount of food I put on my plate. Also, my husband George has been studying a lot of different health sites, especially those that deal with healthy food combining.

Here's an easy definition: food combining is no singular diet, but a lasting new form of nourishment, with a small but important change of your nutritional habit.

How Food Combining works:
You can eat what you want.
You can eat how much you want.
You can combine food but never protein and carbohydrate.

Currently my challenge is to work-out on a daily basis. Today I wasn't able to go to my gym, so I worked out at home with my big workout ball, doing exercises on my yoga mat, using the ball for doing core exercises. I also took Louie for a walk, with was refreshing after a much needed rain here in Austin. I didn't do so well with the kind of food I ate today, but tomorrow I will strive to eat only healthy things and stick to the food combining rules.

This time of year will be a good challenge to drop weigh. Let's see what I can do in this department. Tomorrow's another day.

Nice people in airports

O.K. I know that I'm a slacker sometimes when it comes to my blogging. Well, what can I say other than "I'm doing the best I can with the tools I have!"

Just when you think that people are so caught up in themselves, someone comes out of nowhere and does something so incredibly nice.

This is what happened to me as I waited for a storm to blow through the Baltimore airport as I waited to get back home from New Jersey. I was sitting next to this woman who started telling me about her sister that lives in Austin. Her sister is chronically disorganized and I shared that I'm a professional organizer. She made a phone call and told her sister that she found the perfect person to help her.

Well, this isn't the incredibly nice thing, yet. This woman was also from New Jersey and told me that her family was really screwed up, but she still loved them and enjoyed her visits there. She said that she has been living in Oregon for many years and people there usually minded their own business, unless you let them into your life. She had fallen in love with this guy in the 70's and they had a bunch of kids and lived near the coast. They spent a lot of time fishing and hiking.

We talked for a number of hours as we waited for the storm to clear. I told her that my husband George loved to fish. I said that he had one time gone up to Washington State and fished for salmon with his friend Mike. She said that they owned a bed and breakfast on the coast and that I was welcomed to come there with George, so he could fish. She said that it wouldn't cost us any money to stay there. I couldn't believe that she meant this. She didn't know me or anything. She said she was for real and invited me cause she had a feeling that I was a very nice person and she would enjoy my company up there.

Well, one of these days I think I'll take her up on her offer. I have the address and all. All I have to do is call to make plans with her. Well, I'd say that was an incredibly nice thing to do. In the meantime, I'm working with her sister here in Austin, helping her to get organized.

Stop Fixing People

I'm adding this link to a very interesting & informative article from Psychology Today. It's called "Stop Fixing People," What to do when your brilliant ideas aren't helping.

This link was shared by my brilliant colleague Deb Stanley. It is well worth your time to read. Please let me what you think of this article & if it's helped you or not.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wander-woman/201103/stop-fixing-people

Pain Management & Managing Expectations

O.K. As I have said in the past, I haven't kept up with blogging, but my intention is to be more diligent about writing concise, important blogs that either inspire, share important info to help all that read this blog & for me to gain a sense of accomplishment, which I don't feel currently. The feeling of accomplishment will happen when I put in the time & research needed to create a successful blog, which is my intention.

The point I want to make here about pain management is as follows. In the past month, I've had back surgery two times. The first time was to fix a herniated disk at L5, S1 on March 1st. This disk herniated due to a car accident that I was in at the beginning of November.

We had rain that morning, so the roads were wet. I was driving home from my afternoon client & a car hydroplaned in front of me & I had to hit him head on. What saved my life was my seat belt, the airbag & the guardrail that stopped my car from falling into the canyon, since I was driving on a canyon road. I hit the other car two times & then slammed into the eastbound guardrail. The driver's side window imploded onto me with a million pieces of glass hitting any part of my left side that wasn't covered by clothing. The car was totaled, especially the left side of my car which was smashed in & my left foot, ankle & leg were crushed. The EMT had to cut me out of the car. I had experienced internal damage due to the seat belt & the force of hitting the airbag at a very high speed. And I was incredibly fortunate to not have way more severe injuries. I sustained soft tissue damage to my foot, ankle & leg. I knew that my back was injured, but it wasn't till the beginning of January that my back herniated. The neuro surgeon explained that this wasn't uncommon for a car accident victim; the delay of injury & the inevitable health issues that followed.

The neuro surgeon performed a diskecomy on the 1st of March, which was a Tuesday. By Thursday, my head was hurting so bad that I couldn't stand up for longer than 15 minutes at a time. I called the doctor & they wanted me to go back to the hospital last Friday. They performed a blood patch to stop the flow of spinal fluids from leaking out. What they didn't know at the time, even with an MRI & CT scan was that there was a tear in my spinal columns covering. This wasn't discovered until this past Friday. So they had to repair the tear & sew me up again. Consequently, I had to stay in the hospital again for the weekend. The nurses & techs were surprised to see me again & gave me the excellent care that I received at St. David's hospital in downtown Austin last weekend.

So where does the pain management & expectations come into play? After having another surgery & being setback another week made me feel like that time was taken from me & my clients. I'm so committed to my clients that there are times that I have to remind myself that I come first, then George my husband, Louie (our new puppy) & family & friends come after that. But also there are times that I've put my clients before myself & that is never a smart thing to do, no matter how committed I am. With that kind of thinking, I would have to question my reasons for putting others before myself. I'm not a martyr, foolish with my emotions & I have a strong sense of appropriate boundaries, so I had to re-evaluate my actions & nothing puts more clarity & understanding in the forefront like excruciating pain & the possibility of continued pain if I didn't put myself first, especially in this situation.

What I also realize is to be realistic with my expectations of how long it might take to heal & the critical choices I have to make to protect my back & not re-injuring myself. This lesson of letting go & letting others care for me is a very important lesson. I've learned over time that myself & some of my professional organizing colleagues & friends have a difficult time asking for help or letting others help. We have to unlearn certain things like accepting help graciously from others. Also, managing expectations is critical to a healthful, happy existence. It's something I share all the time with my clients & realize how important this advice is for me too. Please share your views. They're greatly appreciated.

The Science of Happiness

There are many researchers that are studying the new science of happiness. This is part of the fascinating science of "Positive Psychology." I want to share two people that share their insights and research into happiness.

The first one is cognitive researcher Nancy Etcoff, who looks at happiness and the ways we try to achieve and increase it. "The way it's untethered to our real circumstances, and its surprising effect on our bodies."

Here is the link to her presentation on TED: http://www.ted.com/talks/nancy_etcoff_on_happiness_and_why_we_want_it.html

The second presentation on the science of happiness comes from Shawn Achor, who’s’ presentation is called "The Science of Happiness and Potential." Shawn Achor is the winner of over a dozen distinguished teaching awards at Harvard University, where he delivered lectures on positive psychology in the most popular class at Harvard.

Shawn's presentation: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8DngXKtvEQ

At the last NSGCD conference in Austin, September 2010, we had a presenter by the name of Dr. Wanda L. Bethea. She gave a presentation called "Positive Psychology and Client Success." This presentation helped me to gain an understanding and working knowledge of the Positive Psychology theory.

A number of important points I learned from Dr. Bethea's presentation were:

Positive Psychology is the scientific study of: • What makes life worth living • What is right about/with people/organizations • People at their best • People living an engaged, meaningful and pleasant life • Positive experiences/emotions, positive traits/strengths and positive institutions

Positive Psychology is NOT: • A self-help movement • A re-packaging of "the power of positive thinking • "happy-ology" • A passing fad*

*(Robert Biswas Diener)

Discomfort With Silence

We as a human race are very uncomfortable with silence. Just check it out for yourself. 

Sit in a quiet room, with a clock or watch that has a second hand. Of course the clock must be clearly in view, with no distractions. 

Don’t say anything for thirty seconds. Just listen and be present with the silence permeating your presence. Notice how long that small duration of time feels when there is total silence.

How did it make you feel? What did you notice? Where did your mind and thoughts go?

What would happen if you extended it to one minute of silence? People who regularly meditate often do it for thirty minutes to one hour a day. They claim it clears the fog in their mind and creates renewed energy. After doing this exercise, I think it will be come increasingly clear to you that it takes discipline to sit still in silence. I think the benefits to people with ADHD can be significant but learning to sit still with a physically and/or cognitively hyperactive mind is quite challenging. You might want to start with learning to feel comfortable with silence.

Click here to watch this video. Afterwards, ask yourself the following question? How will I begin to integrate silence into my life?

(Written by David Giwerc, ADDCA)

Is anybody out there?

Do you ever wonder if anyone is really out there reading these blogs. I do. I know that I haven't been a great blogger over the last few months, but what I have learned is that there is so much to write about that might or might not be important to the reader. What I have found out is that my clients are brilliant and creative and I honor each and every one of them.

How lucky to be welcomed in to so many homes, helping my clients realize their goals and dreams. My dream is to be able to do the work I do for a long time to come. That will mean that I can never stop working out, to keep my aching back strong. Tomorrow is another day to find out if there is anyone out there, who really cares about what is being said here.

I will work on blogging more often. How about you?

Me & Cherry Vanilla Blue Bell Ice Cream

At the beginning of the year, my husband George found out that he had Type 2 diabetes. This turned his world upside down, as it would anyone. He was very mad at himself for letting himself get out of shape and not take better care of his health by eating all kinds of stuff on the road, etc. He travels a lot for business. I respected and felt his pain, but I kept saying that he did not give himself diabetes, he was predisposed to it genetically. Does someone give themselves diabetes? I don't think so, but if you are diagnosed with Type 2, you need to take that diagnosis seriously, cause your life and health are really at stake.

My mom was a Type 1 diabetic since her late 20's early 30's. Even though she took her insulin as needed, she fought that disease tooth and nail. She did not eat healthily, didn't exercise, smoked till her final days and lived her life by her rules. Because of this, her diabetes took her at 68 years old. She had to have her legs amputated, quadruple bypass, congestive heart disease, and that is what finally took her down, her heart and all of the other organs that just couldn't take it anymore. My mom was an incredible fighter and one of the bravest people I know. She went down kicking. There is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't miss her. Life without her is different, a little less colorful in many ways. But the good news is that there is still a huge rainbow of colors that follow me around on a daily basis.

What does this have to do with Cherry Vanilla Bluebell ice cream? Well, since George was diagnosed with Type 2, I quit my Curves membership, cause it was really not a workout, and we both joined Anytime Fitness (http://www.anytimefitness.com). This is a place where I get a really good workout. I have been going religiously (like I can't believe). I am feeling so strong and feeling in pain from the workouts, but it is good pain, not my back aching like hell. So, the thing that is bumming me out is that I have to cut down on the amount of food I eat each day. That is the hardest part of all of this. I have to get myself to really be better about what I am eating, so that I can start to lose weight, not just tone-up. Let's see how this goes. I have got to get serious, and maybe by writing it here in this blog, it will be a good kick in the ass for me to be serious. It's not that I eat ice cream all the time, but whenever I do, I feel really crappy about it, not ever good. The ends doesn't justify the means. Well I have gotten this message loud & clear. See Blue Bell Ice Cream, do not buy it, do not be tempted by it and that goes for Cheetos too! I can sign off now.

Reducing Your Stress - Part 1

I received a brochure in the mail the other day, tauting the virtues of taking care yourself. In addition to getting regular check-ups, the brochure advised that one way you can take care of yourself in these challenging times is to “reduce your stress.” I turned the brochure over. Nothing else was written there. That was their advice. Just "reduce your stress."

In fact, where ever you turn these days you hear how we need to reduce our collective national stress. Well, okay. How do you do that when you’re lying awake at 3 a.m., worrying about your job, your home, your bills, your future, and your world in general?

Research shows companies undergoing layoffs and other financial problems have a dip in productivity. You think it would be the opposite with people trying to act the model employee, but the stress, uncertainty, and depression take its toll, turning people into anxiety-ridden zombies for a while. Everyone walks around with a shocked expression, waiting for the axe to fall and for small signs of hope.

People under stress react in different ways, including anger, insomnia, eating more, fatigue, and moodiness – just to name a few. Stress can cause you to blow up at the smallest thing and later wonder why you were so angry. Was it really about the issue or was it the stress talking? But you’re supposed to reduce your stress, remember? So how do you do that? Here are some solutions for you.

Exercise and Eat Right. Exercise is a great stress reliever and helps you sleep better. By eating better, you can save money by bringing your own lunch and snacks, making your own coffee, and making better choices at the grocery stores. Don’t forget to treat yourself once in a while. You don’t have to adopt a healthier lifestyle by yourself. Sparkpeople.com and Livestrong.com (Lance Armstrong’s organization) are two sites offering FREE help with creating new habits, such as losing weight, eating more fruits and vegetables, and exercising more.

Get Enough Sleep. In my ADHD coaching class we were given an assignment to get eight hours of sleep every night. I didn’t realize how hard it would be to actually get eight hours of sleep but I found that it made a real difference in my life. Try it. You might really like it.

Just Breathe. Meditation and breathing deeply can help relax your body and lower your heart rate. There are wonderful CDs and books out there on meditation and yoga classes focus on breathing. If you get worked up about something, step away from the situation and just take a few deep breaths and you will find that it might help settle your state of mind. Changing your focus is usually helpful.

Try these simple suggestions and let me know what worked and what didn't.

Happy New Year!

I can hardly believe that another year has flown by. On this New Year, I had the pleasure of celebrating with my darling husband and my two brothers here in New Jersey. We enjoyed a fabulous party at my youngest brother Peter's really good friend Brian's gala New Years Eve party.

I am not a believer in New Year resolutions. I am more comfortable making resolutions throughout the year that are more realistic ones that I will stick to. So far, I have not made any new resolutions to date. One that I feel compelled to write about now is that I will write more blogs in 2010 that will be useful to my readers.

I look forward to working with many of my regular clients and working with new clients and their organizing challenges. This year will hold many new and exciting challenges for all of us.

If there is an organizing challenge that you have, please post it here and we will discuss it. If it is private, please email me at: rlyman@ahelpinghandforyou.com.

Life of your dreams

"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams." This was a quote from Oprah Winfrey. What is the life of your dreams? It is a fascinating question and one that I would like to spend a day or a week or a year going around and asking all that I meet "What would it mean to you to live the life of your dreams?"

For me, I've always dreamed of traveling around the world. Having the time and money to do such a thing is a dream of mine, as far off as it might seem. I can't imagine having the freedom and/or the money to just take off with George and travel the world. Where would I want to start that journey? Maybe I'd start with Australia, or maybe Italy, since I have not been to either of these locations.

I can imagine traveling to many exotic locations. I would have a wonderful time sightseeing and trying to discover the out of the way places that would give me a true sense of what it was like to live in the location I was visiting. I do look forward to a time when I can afford to do that kind of traveling. Right now, it seems like a very far off dream.

I think of this traveling around the world as living a dream, but in my current reality, I am too busy running my business and learning new ways of helping my clients live a simpler, less chaotic life, filled with joy. I live a joyous life and I get great pleasure in doing meaningful work with my wonderful clients. That to me right now is living my dream. I can wait for the traveling at a later time.

If you are interested in world travel, there are some really good travel sites such as: http://www.iexplore.com Check it out.

Good Colleagues

This entry is about my two friends and colleagues that are very special to me. They are Heidi Schulz who resides in Santa Barbara, CA., and Kristin Bergfeld, who resides in NYC. Like me, they work with folks with special needs. Also like me, they work very hard to understand and assist their clients with compassion and respect. All three of us have the opportunity to help people realize that there is hope for them when they feel hopeless.

We are very fortunate to have the opportunity to work with our clients that have tremendous challenges such as hoarding. We work with these truly wonderful clients to help them achieve something that they once thought was only a distant dream, long-term clutter management. You might be asking yourself how this is managed. Well, it is a long road of continual work built around our client's motivation, desire and need for change.

There are others' that play a key role in the work that we do with our clients. These key players are psychiatrists, therapists, social workers, family members and any other support person that wants to be a part of the organizing process (at our client's request). Our hoarding clients can't do the work alone. They need a collaborative team to help and support them throughout their lives, especially when working on long-term clutter management.

I respect and honor these two women for the fine work that they do. I am fortunate to have them in my life! We are cut from the same cloth and are truly digging what we do for a living! How many people can say that they are living their passion? I know that I can!!!

To find out more about the work these two women do, please check out http://www.heidischulz.com and http://www.bergfelds.com

Amazing Grace

I know this has nothing to do with nothing, but I found this video very beautiful. Once in a while, it is nice to just enjoy and really dig "beautiful." http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1785324681?bclid=1338935106&bctid=1913313052

Check it out and I hope you enjoy it too!

NSGCD Conference

The National Study Group on Chronic Disorganization is holding their annual conference from Oct. 1-3 in Los Angeles. I am flying out there this morning. I am a board member, Publications Director, so I need to get there a little earlier. This year's theme is Transitions, Changes in the way we live, work and think.

Our featured speaker is Dr. Daniel G. Amen, an award winning physician, psychiatrist, best-selling author, international speaker, and brain enhancement expert. He is the author of 23 books, including the New York Times best-seller, “Change Your Brain, Change Your Life”. He is at the forefront of applying brain science to improve everyday life.

This years conference will be another wonderful learning opportunity, listening and learning from presenters that work in a number of mental health and related fields, that directly impact the challenges of my chronically disorganized client base.

Sharing time with my colleagues from all over the nation and world is the best part of conference. More on this later.

Me & the Flu

My last blog was about the H1N1 flu epidemic. I gave important and helpful information, which I took off of the CDC's website. The main reason I am so buggy about the flu is simple. A number of years ago I had the flu and I unfortunately ended up with viral encephalitis from that flu virus. The virus went to my brain and caused me to go into a coma and end up in intensive care at the hospital.

The long term effects of viral encephalitis on my life was a brain injury and long-term damage. I was very fortunate and a lot of the damage has since been reversed, but there is still some lifetime damage and long-term memory loss that is gone forever. This kind of a brain injury is called an ABI (Acquired Brain Injury).

There is wonderful information out there about brain injuries and the effects of different kinds of brain injuries on people and their families, which can be found on the website for the Brain Injury Association of Texas at: http://www.biatx.org. If you are interested in information on brain injuries, current research and help of any kind, check out this wonderful site.

Since I am in the population of those with compromised systems, I get a flu shot as soon as they are available. So, my main message here is to be careful, wash your hands frequently, sneeze into your clothing and not in the air, and try to avoid touching your face, mouth or eyes after you have touched something, until you can wash your hands. You will spread the germ fast and furiously if you do not take precautions. Teach your children (young & old) these healthy habits too.

To find out where flu shots are available in your town, check out: http://www.healthline.com. Stay healthy this year for yourself and for your loved ones!

Happy Marriage

I'm celebrating my 17th wedding anniversary today with my darling husband George. He is one of the dearest men I have ever known. He is the kind of man that one feels really safe with and loved by. He has never been fake, he is a truly "real" person.

He travels a lot for business, and when he is gone, I miss him dearly. I am very proud of all of his accomplishments, as he is proud of all of mine. He is the kind of person that you can truly be yourself around. I am blessed to be taking this life's journey with him. We are walking hand-in-hand down the road of life, one step at a time. This is a great moment in my life and I will always remember its specialness.

Trusting and Strengthening Your Intuition

Whether you call your intuition a hunch, sense, notion or instinct, do you trust it? When you are in a situation where you must either listen to your intuition or not, which choice do you make? How did you know what choice to make? Here are some simple ideas to help you strengthen your intuitive mind.

We all have an intuitive mind and a logical mind. We more often use our logical mind without taking advantage of our intuitive abilities. One of the reasons might be that our hectic, cluttered or overwhelming life stops us from our ability to connect with our intuitive mind. Trusting and strengthening your intuition starts by trusting yourself and taking the time to listen to your inner wisdom.

To do this, its most helpful to find a quiet place where you can relax, control your breathing and slowly clear your mind of thought. Once you are in a state of peacefulness, as yourself any question that you have been struggling with in your logical mind. Stay quiet and let the answer to the question come to you instinctively, from within. Trust that intuitive voice by taking action. Once you've taken action, you can start an "intuition log" to monitor the outcome, to see how your intuition served you.

Another way to strengthen your intuition is to tune into your internal energy and the energy that surrounds you. Are you a positive or negative person? The power of positive thinking creates positive energy. This energy helps you to feel strong, loving and encouraging. Negative energy depletes your spirit and can make you mean. Your intuition can only blossom and grow around your positive energy. Are the people in your life positive or negative? Don't you feel so much better when you surround yourself with positive, happy people who honor your relationship and add to your happy spirit? I bet you said "yes" to this question. Let your intuition be your guide to help you weed through and decide who adds to your positive energy and who doesn't.

These two suggestions are beginning ideas to strengthen your intuition. What suggestions do you have for trusting and strengthening your intuition? How has your intuition helped you?

Keeping the Faith

When we get on a plane we have the FAITH that it is going to fly!

When we go to bed we have FAITH that we will awake in the morning. When we leave our house we have FAITH that it will be there when we return.

The majority of our daily activities are solely based on our faith and belief. If we had no faith, we wouldn't even be able to get out of bed in the morning.

Faith fuels our very being. Our faith is tested when things get hard, when we are afraid, and when our perfectly laid plans aren't so perfect. True faith is continued belief in the face of adversity. True faith is when you have every single reason in the world to have NO faith.

So, here is how you hold on and keep your faith:

1. Be clear about what you want. Faith wavers when it is uncertain what to claim. Claim what you want.

2. Stop looking for the results. This is not your job. Your job is to keep the faith, keep the action going and keep repeating these steps.

3. Know that our faith will be constantly tested. You pass the test when you continue to believe.

No meaningful life was ever built on uncertainty and no leader appeared out of doubt. Believe in yourself, your faith and your abilities. Good will come from this.